A Swift Kick in the Pants
by karly05
Summary: Ferb gets some surprising news from his brother. Is this the motivation he needs to start making plans for a permanent future with Vanessa? Prequel to "The One That Says Ferb and Vanessa," and another in what I should start calling my "Delicate Conversations" series.


**A/N – Well, another in what I think I should start calling my "Delicate Conversations Series." I've had this mostly written for a long time and have been sitting on it since before I posted "The One That Says Ferb and Vanessa" back in January. This is actually a sort of prequel/lead-up to that. Once again, I'm taking the characters in directions that not everyone is going to like, but I need to quit worrying about that. Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh own the characters. **

**(I am still giving thought to writing a little something involving Ferb and Vanessa and the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, but honestly I haven't had a lot of time for writing something new just now.)**

A Swift Kick in the Pants

Ferb Fletcher ended the video chat and sat back in his desk chair. He was still and silent, his face unreadable as he reached out and closed the laptop. Then he shoved one hand into his green hair and let out a deep breath. It was Saturday afternoon, and he and Phineas had been talking for nearly two hours. Ferb had known from the moment his brother's face had popped up on the computer screen that something big was going on, but the news had completely blindsided him.

Phineas and Isabella were getting married.

Oh, Ferb had known that the wedding would happen eventually, but the announcement that it would take place this June was a complete surprise. At least Isabella would turn twenty before then, but Phineas would still be nineteen. They would be only halfway through their first four-year stint at University – and, on top of that, they were attending separate schools, several states apart. Listening to his brother chatter away in an energetic mix of enthusiasm and anxiety, Ferb was thankful that he'd always had a good poker face, because the last thing he wanted was for Phineas to see that he thought that this whole idea was stark raving nutters. It was not that he had anything against Isabella. Ferb had long expected her to be his sister-in-law someday, and there was no one he would rather see in that role. He would be proud and honored, of course, to stand up as his brother's Best Man. But he had always assumed that all of this would happen a few years farther on.

No matter how subdued his expression, Ferb knew that Vanessa could always tell when something was nagging at him. She was aware that he had been talking with Phineas, but he'd been shut up in the 'study,' as they had dubbed the bungalow's spare bedroom, and she had not heard the conversation. Ferb also knew that her ears would be all his when he was ready to talk, but for now she didn't press him. Instead, she set about preparing dinner, and soon the tiny house was filling with the aroma of her special Italian Meatball Casserole. Vanessa still claimed that she wasn't much for cooking, but keeping her own house for a few years had motivated her to master some simple, reliable dishes. The casserole, stuffed with savory little meatballs and gooey cheese, had become one of Ferb's favorite comfort foods, and her sudden impulse to whip this up for supper was not lost on him. As usual, when Ferb was out of sorts, Vanessa was doing her best to make him feel better. Today, however, her tender attentiveness was only making him feel worse.

Over the dinner table, he finally opened up. "Phineas and Isabella are getting married."

"Is that what he called about?" Vanessa prompted.

With a nod, Ferb added, "In June. _This _June."

Vanessa's eyes went wide. "Whoa, that's quick."

Ferb was pleased to see that maybe she wouldn't think he was reacting unreasonably. "My sentiments exactly."

"Umm…" Vanessa looked down at her plate, poking at her pasta before she ventured to ask, "she's not pregnant, is she?"

"No, thank heavens," Ferb said bluntly. "Mum and Dad would go off in a fit if it happened again. Especially considering all the lectures we got after Candace and Ambrose had to run to the altar. No," he repeated, fortifying himself with another forkful of provolone-and-parmesan-y goodness before broaching the more delicate topic. "It's exactly the opposite." He met her eye before he said, "Isabella wants the permission slip."

"Really?" Vanessa's eyebrows went up. "I didn't know Isabella was that strict. I mean…" she stammered, obviously knowing how this sounded.

Ferb knew what she was thinking, and spared her from having to find the words. "It's not theological. Apparently, she has some elaborate romantic notions about 'The Wedding Night.'" He broke the eye contact and blushed slightly as he muttered, "Sometimes I wish Phineas didn't tell me so much."

"I hope she doesn't end up disappointed," said Vanessa, with a wry twist of her mouth. Almost at once, she gave an embarrassed groan. "Oh, gosh, Ferb, that came out all wrong. I didn't mean that _I_ was – or that you weren't – "

Ferb couldn't suppress a chuckle, watching his unfortunate darling fumble for words. "Never mind, love. I didn't take it personally."

"All I meant was," Vanessa tried to explain, "if she's scripted out some romance novel plot of how everything's supposed to happen – Don't get me wrong, I like Isabella, but—"

"'Scripted out romance novel plot' sounds about right," Ferb admitted. "It seems that when the two of them were home for the Christmas break, things got rather out of hand. The consensus is, they won't hold out for two more years. And since Isabella has decided no Victory Bell before the Wedding Bells, Wedding Bells it is."

"What are they going to do about college?" Vanessa wondered.

"That's still being negotiated. According to Phineas, it's possible they'll both stay where they are until they've finished their bachelors. They're planning to marry in Danville as soon as the semester's done, then rent a place there for the rest of the summer, but they'll have to make some decisions before classes start up again."

"I wouldn't want a long distance marriage," Vanessa shook her head. "Ten bucks says one of them drops out or moves credits before the end of the year."

"I don't know what I expect them to do," Ferb confessed. "And what I think really shouldn't matter." There was something he had been wanting to ask her ever since the news from Phineas. Now he fell silent for a minute, trying to piece together the proper words. "Vanessa… Do you ever feel taken for granted?"

Clearly, she saw his worried look, and she reached a hand across the table as she said, "No."

He cut her off abruptly. "Don't just say 'no.' I'm serious. If I've been in any way unfair to you, or insensitive…"

"Ferb Fletcher." She said this in that lovingly exasperated tone that meant she thought he was being ridiculous. "The last thing you are is insensitive. And I have never, ever felt taken for granted by you." He had not taken the proffered hand, and now she used it to wag a scolding finger at him. "Don't you dare start changing our plans because of anything your brother is doing."

"I'm not changing any plans," he insisted. "But – honestly, I'm feeling like a bit of a pompous ass right now. All of my posturing about how we ambitious, intellectual sorts don't marry young because we have grander things to do and we're above such repressive, patriarchal conventions…" He wasn't certain he was explaining himself clearly. "Well, it turns out that my own brother, who is as ambitious and intellectual as anyone I know, is making me feel a bit guilty about those remarks."

Vanessa took a drink of her iced tea before she said, "You know, a couple of years ago, one of those intellectual guys said something to me that made a lot of sense. He said people marry young for one of three reasons. Either they need the sexual permission slip, or they were careless and someone got pregnant, or they've done all the school they're going to do and gotten a job and are ready to settle down. You're still right about that, Ferb. Isabella wants the permission slip. It doesn't matter why; Phineas is game to give it to her. You and I never needed that, and I for one have no regrets. I'm perfectly happy just sharing our little love nest until you're done at ASU and we're ready to take the next step."

This time, he reached out for her hand, and she placed it in his with a smile. It was her left, and he ran his thumb lightly over her third finger. "It's only a couple more years. Maybe we ought to start working out the specifics."

He looked from her naked finger to her face, and she shook her head at him. "We can make some decisions just between ourselves, but if you're thinking of engagement rings…"

"You read my mind," he teased her.

"No," Vanessa said decisively. "No ring, no announcement, nothing public until after your brother's wedding. I don't want Isabella to think I'm stealing her thunder."

Ferb snorted softly as he remarked, "Oh, the drama!"

"It's not funny," she insisted. "Weddings make women crazy. And I am not going to be responsible for starting some family feud."

"All right," said Ferb. "Nothing public for now. But, that doesn't mean we can't start looking. I'm going to want your input on this."

"You don't need my input," she gave his hand a squeeze before letting go of it and digging into her dinner again. "Surprise me." When he responded with an uneasy, exasperated look, she insisted, "I trust you."

"I'm glad one of us does," Ferb muttered, stabbing a meatball with his fork.

An engagement ring was a rather large investment, emotionally as much as financially. It went without saying that he wanted Vanessa to be pleased with it. He liked to believe that he had a fair grasp of her style and taste, but he honestly had no idea where to begin. Later that evening, after he'd polished off a scoop of cherry ice cream with chocolate sauce and they had cleaned up the kitchen together, Ferb broached the subject again.

Vanessa must have suspected at least part of what was troubling him, because she was swift to say, "Don't break the bank on it. Honestly, I don't need some twenty pound rock. In fact," she considered, "it doesn't even have to be a diamond."

Intrigued by the idea, Ferb remarked, "Well, we always have been a bit – unconventional."

This drew a little smile out of her, and she said, "You know, I think I would like something kind of different – special."

"Like you," Ferb agreed, stroking her cheek.

"Like _us_," she corrected him with a kiss. "I can't explain it, but I'm sure you'll know it when you see it. It'll be the one that says 'Ferb and Vanessa.'"

THE END

**A/N – And if you haven't read "The One That Says Ferb and Vanessa," now would be a good time. **

**At some point, I really am going to start working on the epic Ferbnessa Wedding Saga.**


End file.
